Descent into the HallowVault

Fancy a trip down memory lane? Feel the inevitable crushing weight of the past weighing you down? Is your surname Usher?

We may not be able to help you with that, but here you’ll find not only Andy and Lilly’s Hallowfest and pre-Hallowfest reviews from the past; but also features they’ve done individually and together, in-depth analyses, gonzo horror journalism, and short fiction – all in one place for the first time in 5 years!

So grab a torch, a crucifix, health card and next-of-kin information, and head down the steps into the dusty remnants of our blogging past. One warning: if something isn’t a review and instead is in the feature section, there may be unmarked spoilers. Also spiders. Like, a lot of spiders. And don’t touch the lab equipment in the corner.

If you don’t know where to start, if you want more reviews, head to the reviews, for some spooky stories, head to Andy’s fiction section, and if you want to get stuck into something a bit longer, we love The Ultimate Hammer Horror Saga.

Follow the links found below to head into the history of Hallowfest Octobfilm. Good luck…

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Standalone Features

August 2011 – Lilly is not going to help you bury your dead dog.

August 2012 – Andy finds that nostalgia is a hell of a drug.

October 2012 – Andy tries to be funny online after watching way too many horror movies in one week.

April 2013 – Lilly watches a bad horror movie and likes it so much she buys a mug with the poster on it.

May 2013 – Lilly discusses Dracula at length, and explores her relationship with vampires.

April 2014 – Andy goes to sea and asks one of life’s great questions: Are there any good horror movies set on a boat? Other than Deep Rising, obviously.


Multi-part Series

The Ultimate Hammer Horror Saga, 2011 – 2013

Pardon My StakeLilly explains what makes these movies so entertaining in a short  post six months before she even met Andy. He is now stealing it as an introduction to this section.

Stop Screaming; or Lilly Goes to the CinemaLilly goes to see The Woman in Black, and sidetracks into discussions of cinema etiquette, the corrupting influence of the VHS era, and Daniel Radcliffe’s cheekbones.

The Ultimate Hammer Horror Collection: Part 1Andy makes an impulse purchase, admires some hats and finds out even more amazing things about Christopher Lee.

The Ultimate Hammer Horror Collection: Part 2 Andy watches a movie filled to the brim with ladies in fur bikinis, and then won’t stop raving about how cool the stop-motion dinosaurs are.

The Ultimate Hammer Horror Collection: Part 3  – Andy encounters Professor Quatermass, Dracula and the Angel of Death, which are all awesome; as well as two of the worst movies he’s ever seen, which is less awesome.

The Ultimate Hammer Horror Collection: Part 4  – Andy endorses an underrated thriller, and then gets legitimately angry at a movie for a justified reason.

An Awfully Briant Adventure Lilly likes a Hammer Horror movie from Part 4 way, way more than Andy and considers moving Down Under to be with the star.

Andy’s Return to the Revenge after the Curse, the Saga and the Terrible Job – Far from burning out, Andy watches another Hammer Horror because it was £4 in HMV.

The Prometheus Saga, 2012 – 2014

Andy initially doesn’t really like Prometheus that much, especially its ambiguity. He also writes overlong footnotes. Now with added “his love life was a car crash in mid 2012” added content!

Andy re-watches Prometheus and decides it’s actually not that bad.

Lilly likes Prometheus a lot, and falls in love with what she calls “FassBot”.

Andy finally decided he loved Prometheus and wrote a serious and pretentiously titled analysis called “Prometheus Explored” in three parts. Lilly meanwhile, regretted buying him books about film criticism for Christmas:

Prometheus Explored, Part 1In the Shadow of a Monster; Prometheus and Alien

Prometheus Explored, Part 2 – Gods and Supermen; Prometheus and Religion

Prometheus Explored, Part 3Fathers and Sons; Prometheus and Family

The Andy vs Doctor Who Mini Saga, May 2013

Andy vs. Doctor Who IAndy is concerned about the direction the series is going in with companion Clara.

Andy vs. Doctor Who IIAndy watches The Name of the Doctor, and all of his worst fears are realized, but also makes some predictions which turned out to be SUPER wrong.

Shark Snark – The September 2013 Double Bill

Jurassic SharkLilly watches a Canadian shark movie and can’t stop saying “You’re chum, bitch” for days afterwards

BaitAndy watches an Australian shark movie and seriously wonders if a shopping cart would make a good shark cage


Andy’s Short Fiction

The Hum A man suffers from a strange affliction in a story inspired by a faulty Playstation 2.

The Strange Mrs DandridgeOld ladies gossip about their neighbor. What happens when you live in an area surrounded by old people and read too much Lovecraft.

An Old House on Raglan StreetProbably my darkest story to date, this was written as an attempt to process my feelings after watching Alex Gibley’s Mea Maxima Culpa: Silence in the House of God.

Maglocunus – Archaeologists dig up relics they shouldn’t and cause themselves some difficulty. This attempt at an M. R. James pastiche turned out surprisingly creepy, and all the history in this is accurate, as far as I know.

CynthieAn experiment goes horribly right for one unlucky bastard. Lilly asked me to write her a ghost story for Christmas, and this happened instead.

Charly says always tell…A thematic sequel to Cynthie, this is my first story set in contemporary Nova Scotia and was inspired by some “real world” monsters like Elliot Rodgers. The title is a play on the lyrics to 90s techno song Charly, by The Prodigy.


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